Nyandayo! What Is This Cat?
by nvzblgrrl
Summary: The Straw Hat Pirates are on an adventure... but what is this ship's cat that's turning the story upside down? And is there more to this nightmarish feline than there appears on the surface?


Dina woke up on a stone ledge to a cold night breeze tinged with a hint of salt running down her bare back. _Jesus, That's cold, _she thought as she looked out to the oblivion that was an ocean view. _I guess that's what I get for sleeping au natural… outside… at night… next to the ocean… which is interesting, because I don't own any beachside property._

She tried to stand up, as if doing so would help make sense of the situation, but her legs wouldn't cooperate, almost as if her joints had been reversed. And then she looked down at her hands, which were now **paws**. _Are you fucking serious? _Her new tail swished with annoyance as she did a quick survey of her new body. _Okay, no prizes for looks, _Dina thought as she checked her reflection in the glass window of a guard-house, effectively scaring the sentry inside shitless in the process. _Though the eyes are an interesting feature. _She snickered, producing a noise that was unsettlingly similar to the sound of scissors.

* * *

The sentry refused to go to sleep that night, even after he got off of his shift. He kept on seeing those demonic blue eyes glowing from the dark corners of his room, with that smile filled with shining wicked points mocking his uneasiness…

* * *

Dina's new appearance was that of a cadaverous cat the size of a bloodhound, with the skeleton showing prominently under a thin coat of mangy grey fur that seemed to have odd mousey patches and a purplish sheen, along with long legs that felt more powerful than those of her old body. The paws were cumbersome, huge affairs that, while equipped with a set of wicked claws that could probably gouge through stone, were also continuously tripping her up as she began adapting to quadruped movement. The long, bony tail was also distracting, constantly flicking and swishing based on her mood, which was quickly darkening.

Her new face was something that she did like, with its corpselike features, large lamp-like eyes that shone hallucination blue and mouth full of razors and needles. _A regular Cheshire Cat now, aren't I? All I need to learn is some fancy disappearing trick and I'm ready for the next movie. _

Dina had no problem with joking around in her own head, but this situation was serious. She knew this place, this little adobe village called Whiskey Peak. The only problem was how she was going to get off this tiny island. Padding across the rooftops of the small buildings, she took in as much information as possible, trying to figure out at what exact point she had entered the story.

_There aren't holes in everything, so I'm going to guess that the Straw Hats haven't shown up here yet or that this is after the time-skip._ The sight of Igaram going between buildings confirmed that the Straw Hats hadn't reached Whiskey Peak as of yet, but that could mean that they could be anywhere from a year to a few hours away. _Stupid non-specific periods of time._

Bat-like ears flicked forward, trying to detect any form of conversation, but got nothing but the sound of a mild breeze. _Damn it._

* * *

_**A few days later…**_

_Never thought I'd be rooting through someone's garbage for a meal._ Dina sniffed through the papers, trying to pinpoint the source of the chicken smell, only to be met with disappointment. _A napkin? Well that was definitely worth ten minutes of digging through refuse. _She pulled herself out of the garbage bin, quickly licking herself clean. As she leaped up one of the ladders, Dina took a moment to leer at a small child who had been staring in horror at the abomination that was apparently now in residence behind his house before slowly evaporating out of his line of sight.

Dina loved teasing the little boys and girls of Whiskey Peak into sleepless nights. There might have been a sting of guilt attached to her twisted feeling of pleasure if she hadn't known in advance that almost every citizen of the island was a bounty hunter ready to kill at the drop of a hat. It was during one of these escapades, when an irate adult had joined the fun with a shot-gun, that Dina's ability to evaporate and reconstitute her body came to her attention. _Lovely, _she thought wickedly.

_I hope those Straw Hats show up soon, _Dina thought as she slipped into an empty room that she had been sleeping in for the last three days. _This town is so dull when they aren't out to collect your head._

* * *

The unfortunate sentry from Dina's first day was having a really horrible week. First a demonic monster begins following him (an act unintentional on Dina's part), then nobody believes him when he finally answers the question of what was eating him and, as added frosting, his alcohol ration is completely taken away for a month.

And now there was a scratching sound coming from the empty flat about his apartment. Sometimes he wondered why the hell he ever took this assignment.

* * *

The sound of a party was unmistakable after the quiet murmur of the last week. Dina watched with a keen interest, perched on the precipice of the town's church, her smile genuine for once. _They finally got here._ She thought dryly._ Huzzah. _She glanced at the sun, which was just beginning its downward trek to the horizon.

A small growling noise emanated from her stomach as Dina espied a large platter of meat being taken into the tavern. _I wonder if I can get in on any of that that feast… Who am I kidding? Luffy sees that meat; boom, pile of bones._

As the sun began to set lower in the sky, the sounds of the party reached an apex then began to die down, at which Dina believed that the drinking contest was beginning to reach its inevitable conclusion.

_About an hour or so before Zoro gets the real party gets started. _Dina grinned as she watched the sun sink behind the cactus-like mountains of Whiskey Peak, her porcelain white teeth glowing in the orange light, as she evaporated into seeming nothingness. _Perhaps I'll lend him a hand… or paw, the situation being what it is…_

* * *

Zoro leered down at the mob of bounty hunters, a slasher smile shining in the light of the partial moon. _This should be a good way to test these new blades… _The smile faded as he noticed the mass of gun barrels pointed at him. _Shit._

A slight feeling of pressure rested on his shoulder just as the words 'Kill Him!' were shouted, the sound of a snickering pair of scissors in his ear and then Zoro felt everything go.

* * *

The bounty hunters reeled in the street. How could the swordsman have disappeared right in front of them? He was on a roof! There was no way a normal human could move that fast!

And then the Pirate Hunter was in their midst, his smile of ill intent stretched across his face in anticipation of much day-ruining, though he had still not yet drawn any of his swords from their sheaths. They reacted as quickly, slashing their swords and firing their guns at the one pirate who had not fallen into their honey trap.

But their steel met nothing but air, and the bullet struck nothing but the flesh of the bounty hunters' brothers in arms.

* * *

Zoro stood behind the wall where Dina had deposited him, watching with interest and faint mirth as the cat in disguise began to thin the crowd without even lifting a finger. But this was supposed to be his chance to cut loose after what seemed like weeks of being stuck on the Merry with nothing to do but nap and polish his swords.

But then the cat decided to put him in a place to terrify that even the swordsman could smile at the situation.

* * *

Dina watched from her new position in a vacant window, watching the Pirate Hunter take down the number of opponents without even so much as a full sword strike. She believed that Zoro had understood her plan to confuse the Baroque Works agents and chip away at their morale as he cut them down, but one could only get so much across without words.

She would only step in when there was absolutely no chance of the swordsman getting out of whatever trap the bounty hunters had caught him in. Otherwise, he was going to handle the fight on his own.

_A bit of a one-sided partnership… _Dina conceded mentally. But all together in character for the master of Santoryu.

A bubble of noise attracted the cat's attention. _Oh my God_, she thought with a barely restrained guffaw. _He just flipped that ladder! ALL OVER THEM! Ahahahahahahahaha!_

* * *

As Zoro went about trying to put down the last three Baroque agents, Dina used her ability not only to get the Straw Hats that she was positive weren't involved in the upcoming fight back to the Merry, but also to rob Whiskey Peak of what little material wealth was left._ M__ight as well make myself useful to the crew after all._

After the noise of fighting faded into the normal murmur of the night, Dina found the swordsman on a roof overlooking the waterway that connected Whiskey Peak to the Grand Line, quite pleased with himself and gulping down a bottle of booze that he had collected along the way. She settled herself nearby, watching the half-moon with glittering eyes, quite content to wait for the inevitable fight to come to them.

* * *

Zoro watched the corpse-like cat from the corner of his eye. "You're not a normal cat, are you?" The cat rolled its eyes at the swordsman, displaying a human level of sarcastic appreciation, before returning its gaze to the street.

The swordsman put down his booze long enough to check the nearly deserted street that the cat simply couldn't stop watching. "Luffy isn't going anywhere and I already threw out the trash. What are you so anxious about?" The cat ignored him, continuing its vigil.

Zoro leaned back, taking another swing from his bottle. "Stupid cat."

* * *

Dana ignored the swordsman's assurance that everything was alright, watching with cool interest as Mr. 5 and Ms. Valentine entered the scene, though her tail did begin to swish in agitation. Fire and explosions were not her thing, not now, not ever.

Luffy needed to be out of the line of fire. So did Vivi and Igaram, but later. _Or maybe right now would be better. _Dana winced as Igaram was engulfed in a small explosion. She knew he would live through it, but… _Ouch._

Zoro was already pulling Luffy out of the way, moving much faster than Dana had thought the swordsman could. _Note to self: getting lost a lot doesn't always mean slow. I guess that means that I can stay out of this. I'm sure that they have this handled._

_Dana found a comfortable place to nap on board the Going Merry, a little spot that was out of the way and would keep her out of sight… at least until it was time to let everyone know that they had just acquired a ship's cat. _


End file.
